


The St. Valentines Day Massacre

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-21
Updated: 2006-03-21
Packaged: 2019-02-02 01:51:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12717261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Jack and Daniel plan a romantic evening together but then things go wrong!





	The St. Valentines Day Massacre

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Some bad language.  


* * *

Okay, so this hadn't been his brightest idea, Daniel thought as he struggled into the bakery on one crutch.

Since he had Jack had decided to live together as a couple Daniel had enjoyed some of the best times of his life. He had finally found his soul mate, in the form of one Jack O'Neill, hard-assed Air Force officer.

Jack had been taking care of Daniel ever since he had fallen off a ladder just before Christmas while helping a neighbour fix her Christmas lights. Fractures of both heels had left him stuck in a wheelchair for a couple of weeks and since then hobbling around on crutches Daniel could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. He had been given permission to return to work at the SGC a couple of weeks ago although off-world travel wasn't on the horizon anytime soon. He was now able to drive himself, provided he took it steady and he only really needed to use the crutches for distances longer than the couch to the bedroom.

Today was the 14th February, St. Valentine's Day. Daniel had racked his brains for a way to show Jack just how much he loved him. All he had managed to come up with was a heart shaped cake from the bakery and a bottle of champagne he had picked up after leaving the SGC for the day.

Jack had left early, Walter had informed him as he headed for the surface. Daniel wondered if he had a meeting somewhere or perhaps he was picking up their dry cleaning. Whatever, perhaps it would give Daniel time to get the cake into the house and the champagne on ice.

The plan had been perfect in theory but in practice Daniel was now realising how difficult it was going to be to carry a cake box and use a crutch at the same time.

"Is this alright for you sir?" The assistant's voice pulled Daniel back to the here and now. He peered into the open cardboard box. The cake was covered in white icing, with red roses carefully placed on the top and a red ribbon around it.

"Perfect, thanks." Daniel handed over his credit card and adjusted his crutch, preparing to balance the cake in his free hand.

"Do you need help to get the cake to your car, sir?" The assistant asked, noticing Daniel's predicament.

He nodded, smiling. "That would be great, thanks."

The young assistant blushed. She wished the handsome young man were buying the cake for her. He probably had a beautiful wife waiting for him at home, a couple of sweet children......" She called for her colleague to watch the store while she followed him outside.

Daniel pointed to his car and the assistant waited as he limped over to the door and, leaning heavily on the vehicle, he opened the door and allowed her to place the cake carefully on the passenger seat.

"Thanks again," Daniel smiled.

"You're welcome sir, drive carefully now."

She watched wistfully as Daniel struggled to the driver's door, threw the crutch onto the back seat and strapped himself in. With a wave to the young assistant he pulled away from the kerb and left her daydreaming.

Jack O'Neill surveyed the dining table. Yes, this was definitely one of his better ideas.

He had managed to sneak out of the SGC early, call at the market to collect some things and then hot-foot it home to get a special St. Valentine Day meal ready for Daniel. He stood back and smiled at the thought of his partner, his best friend, his lover, Dr. Daniel Jackson. He hadn't realised life could be so good until he and Daniel had finally realised and then admitted their feelings for each other. Today was the ideal opportunity for Jack to show Daniel just how much he loved him.

The table was set with the best china, the finest crystal glasses and a centrepiece of red roses and candles. The wine was chilling and the salad was all ready to be tossed, while the steaks awaited the grill pan. All that was missing was the reason for all this.

Noticing it was starting to get dark, Jack moved to switch on some table lamps to set the mood and then he selected one of Daniel's favourite CDs of classical music and pressed the play button.

As the music washed over him Jack O'Neill thought life was perfect, just perfect.

"Perfect, just perfect," Daniel muttered to himself as he pulled up outside Jack's house and saw the Avalanche in the drive and the lights on.

He had wanted to get the cake into the house before Jack arrived, a nice surprise for his partner who he was sure wouldn't even know it was St. Valentine's Day.

Jack's Avalanche being parked on the drive meant that Daniel would have further to struggle with the cake, champagne and crutches. He sighed before levering himself out of the driver's seat and limping slowly to the back of the car to retrieve the crutches.

Once settled on these Daniel made his slow and painful way around the car to the passenger side where the cake was sitting. He considered his predicament for a moment. There was no way he was going to be able to carry the cake and the champagne and use both crutches. He decided he could make two trips. He could hear music playing so he knew Jack wasn't likely to hear him until he actually opened the front door.

Leaving one crutch reluctantly in the car Daniel carefully lifted the cake box out of the car and balanced it precariously on his arm. He knew he had no way of closing the car door and so he left it wide open trusting that no one would pass by in the next few minutes.

Slowly he made his way up the path towards the front door and breathed a sigh of relief when he was able to put the cake on the porch step and relax.

Groaning as his heels protested at the unsupported exercise Daniel made his way back down to the car where he retrieved the bottle of champagne from the trunk and his second crutch from inside the car. This time, surer of his balance with two crutches, Daniel managed to slam the car door shut with his hip and then, clutching the bottle carefully, he hobbled back up the drive towards the front door. "Made it," he sighed triumphantly as he put the bottle down next to the cake.

"Made it," Jack said as he peeked out of the curtain and saw Daniel's car parked at the roadside. He put the steaks under the grill, checked the room and headed towards the front door to greet his partner.

The cake and champagne on the porch in front of him Daniel fumbled for his house keys. If he were lucky Jack would be either in the kitchen or in the shower. He might be able to get the stuff inside before Jack noticed anything. If not he would just have to present his gifts in the doorway and allow Jack to carry them in for him. Either way he smiled to himself as he imagined Jack's expression at being presented with a heart shaped cake.

As Daniel moved to put his key in the lock the door swung open causing him to lose his fragile balance. As he stumbled forward, trying hard to avoid the cake and the bottle, Jack stepped forward to steady him. After that everything seemed to have the dreamlike quality of a slow motion film.

Jack, true to all good comedy films, stepped squarely in the middle of the cake. As he felt himself falling he flung out his arms to save himself. Unfortunately all they encountered was Daniel, struggling to maintain his balance on a pair of crutches.

As Jack grabbed for Daniel, he in turn lost his balance and, crutches notwithstanding, fell sideways his head hitting the porch steps with a hollow thud.

Jack hit the deck, landing on his butt, the impact making his teeth jar. As he lay on the step next to Daniel he watched with morbid fascination as the bottle of champagne rolled down the porch steps and onto the lawn, still intact.

"What the

* * *

" Jack groaned as he tried to push himself upright and found his hands covered in icing. 

"What the

* * *

" Daniel groaned as he opened his eyes to find more stars than the universe could hold, all dancing merrily in his field of vision. 

"Daniel?" Jack shuffled round, ignoring the icing that seemed to be everywhere.

"Jack?" Daniel could hear his friend's voice but couldn't see anything clearly.

"Are you hurt?" Jack sounded anxious and Daniel tried to think why, what had happened.

"Not sure, what happened?"

"You tell me," Jack's voice came from somewhere above him and he guessed he was lying down for some reason. He could hear Jack groaning and swearing but his head was swimming and it all seemed like some really bad dream.

"Where am I?"

"On the porch, can you get up?"

Daniel considered Jack's request for a minute.

"Daniel?"

Daniel tried really hard to process what Jack was saying but his ears were buzzing and those damned stars were still dancing.

"Daniel can you hear me?" Okay, he could do this, he nodded in response and immediately regretted it as the world looped and he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Shit." Jack wasn't feeling so hot himself but at least he was conscious. Ignoring the pain in his lower back he dragged Daniel into the house, dropping him gratefully onto the couch. He flicked the light switch so he could get a better look at his friend.

"Shit." A gash on Daniel's right temple and a nicely rising lump around it accounted for Daniel's current state. Jack grabbed a napkin from the table and pressed it firmly against the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. As he held it there he looked down at himself. He wondered idly what he was covered in; he risked a taste; icing!

Daniel groaned and shifted under Jack's hand.

"Daniel you with me?"

Daniel was alert enough to know nodding his head wasn't a good idea. The buzzing in his ears had lessened and the stars seemed to have disappeared but nausea had taken their place. He risked opening his eyes.

"Gonna be sick.............."

"Crap!" Jack reached for the waste bin and supported Daniel while he vomited into it.

Eventually vomiting turned to dry heaves. "Finished?"

"Ummm."

Jack took that as a yes and moved the bin away before returning with a damp cloth to wipe Daniel's face with.

Daniel sighed as the damp cloth cooled his face. He opened his eyes and looked at Jack.

"What are you covered in?" he asked once his vision had cleared.

"You tell me Dr. Jackson," Jack said, vainly trying to wipe some of the icing off.

Daniel looked confused for a moment and then realisation dawned.

"The cake!"

"What cake?"

"Wanted to surprise you....Valentine's Day......got a cake..........champagne....." Daniel's voice trailed away.

"Yeah well you certainly did that," Jack chuckled. Daniel smiled slightly and then winced.

"Where does it hurt?" Jack scanned Daniel but apart from the gash on his temple, which seemed to have stopped bleeding he couldn't see any other injuries.

"Did you hurt your feet?"

"Jack?"

"I'll ring the SGC, maybe you need an x-ray or something."

"Jack?"

"What?" Jack was more concerned that Daniel might have damaged his healing fractures.

"Something burning..........?"

"Crap! The steaks."

It was ten minutes to midnight when the couple arrived back at home. The fire crew had left once the fire had been safely extinguished. Dr. Warner had insisted on x-raying Daniel's heels and his skull and, once he was confident there was no lasting damage, he turned his attentions to Jack.

A bruised coccyx seemed to be Jack's only injury while Daniel managed to get away with concussion. Eventually armed with some heavy duty painkillers and some instructions that included ice-packs and plenty of rest Jack was finally allowed to take Daniel home providing he used a wheelchair for a few days to give his heels a rest.

As Jack wheeled the chair towards the front door Daniel put his hands on the rims and stopped the two of them in their tracks.

"Daniel...." Jack exclaimed.

"Jack look," Daniel pointed to something on the lawn. Jack reached down and picked up the still whole bottle of champagne.

"And it's even chilled," he exclaimed, handing it to Daniel.

"And it's still St. Valentine's Day," Daniel said, checking his watch.

"And we're both on pain meds," Jack reminded him.

"Oh"

The following day, once Teal'c had hosed down the porch and Sam had cleaned up the kitchen both men were able to laugh about the incident.

"Another six days of medication and then we really will open that bottle Daniel," Jack promised.

"I'm sorry about all this," Daniel waved his hands around.

"Me too, it could have been a great evening," Jack said.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Cut it out Daniel, there'll be plenty more evenings and we don't need any old Saint Val to tell us when to celebrate."

Daniel raised his head and smiled across at Jack just as Sam entered the room, throwing off her rubber gloves. She surveyed the two men and shook her head. There was something going on here and it didn't take brains to work out what it was. She was pleased, she loved both these men and if they had finally found happiness together who was she to judge them. She dropped onto the couch and put her feet up on the edge of the coffee table.

"Well it's all cleaned up sir, it's taken a while but there's no evidence of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre left in there.

Finis


End file.
